Tag: Self-Love

Love Like You Mean It: A Call to Action

If you are going to love, love like you mean it. Don’t wait until tomorrow to say how you feel, because tomorrow isn’t promised. Tell that person that you care. Look them in the eyes and really see them. Kiss them without fear, but instead a passion that burns deep inside of you. Have gratitude for what you have in this very moment. Do not be afraid to be vulnerable and fragile, because the right hands will be delicate enough to navigate all of that with compassion. Be honest, kind, and meaningful with your words, say what you mean and mean what you say. Love like there is no tomorrow, like you only have this present moment right now and the best thing you have ever seen is standing right in front of you. If you are going to love, love like there is no one else, like you are addicted to their touch, the sound of their laughter, and that smile that lights up a room. Love like they are your fairytale, and that life without them doesn’t even exist.

Love like you have never been hurt or had a broken heart. Love like you have never given it your all only to have lies and deceit tossed in your face. Love like you have not watched someone you thought you loved become a perfect stranger. Love like you have never watched a relationship unravel in front of your eyes. Love like you have never experienced the most volatile toxic behavior that made you question your sanity. Love like you have never been disappointed because someone filled your head with hopes and dreams, but delivered a nightmare. Do not half love or kind of commit. Do not love with a wondering eye and loose lips. Do not love only on the days it is convenient for you. Do not love with the intention to hurt or betray someone. Do not love with no accountability for poor words and actions. Love with everything you have in you, because what else is there to really do in this life?

Love conquers all. It begins and ends with you. Love someone with your whole heart. Show them the good, the bad, and the ugly. Be your true authentic unapologetic self. Love like the world will end tomorrow. Love when times are tough and emotions are running high. Love even though we live in a world full of hate and divide. Love enough to ugly cry in front of them. Love through your words, actions, and choices. If you are going to love, love with purpose. Love with intention. Love like you are committed to creating a beautiful life with them. Love waking up next to them, because their mere presence brings so much peace and happiness. Love like your heart is finally in a safe place. Be love. Give love. Accept love. Just love.

Trusting the Universe: Divine Timing and New Beginnings

Life has a mysterious way of unfolding in ways we can’t predict or control. Often, when we are stuck in toxic patterns or clinging to the past, we forget that the universe has its own plan, one governed by divine timing. Trusting in this divine flow can feel like stepping into the unknown, but it is through this process that we discover personal growth, meaningful connections, and the peace we have been longing for. There is something profoundly glorious about the idea that everything unravels exactly as it should, even if it doesn’t align with our personal timelines. When you lean into divine timing, you free yourself from the pressure of forcing things to happen. Instead, you open yourself up to the magic of receiving what is meant for you. This requires patience and trust, by doing this you allow the natural course of life to carry you to new beginnings and greater possibilities.

The gift of loving yourself is priceless, this allows you to attract the love you are destined for. When we talk about soulmates, many people automatically think of romantic partnerships. The truth is, soulmates come in various forms like friends, mentors, or people who offer life-changing lessons. A soulmate is someone who connects with your soul on a deep spiritual level. They see you in ways others cannot, and they challenge you to grow and evolve. Sometimes, these connections will push you into the unknown, away from your comfort zone, and toward your true path. It’s in these relationships that divine timing works its magic, helping you heal old wounds, discover new facets about yourself, and step into your highest potential. To be open to receive this, there is another important part that is perhaps most challenging, letting go of a toxic past. The grip of the past can be powerful, only preventing you from embracing new beginnings. Healing begins when you release the belief that the past defines you. Forgiveness plays a major role here and we must remember forgive ourselves for the times we stayed too long, held on too tightly, or doubted our worth. By letting go you are able to reclaim your power. You allow space for peace to replace the chaos of what once was, and in doing so, you pave the way for new, healthier experiences to enter your life.

There is an undeniable beauty in starting over. New beginnings may feel daunting at first because they require us to step into unfamiliar territory. What we fail to see is that within the unknown lies limitless potential. Whether it’s a new relationship, career, or personal journey, new beginnings give you the opportunity to redefine yourself. Instead of carrying the weight of your past into these new chapters, try embracing them with an open heart and mind. A fresh start is an invitation from the universe to become a better version of yourself. Trust that as you align with divine timing and letting go of what no longer serves you, it will bring you one step closer to your true self and your soul’s purpose. When we choose peace over chaos, it is a conscious decision to prioritize your well-being and mental health over the noise and negativity of the past. It is about setting boundaries, honoring your needs, and allowing yourself to rest in the stillness of life. By choosing peace you align yourself with a positive energetic flow. You stop rushing and start trusting, You stop settling for less and demanding more. Most importantly, you create space for love, joy, and soul deep connections to flourish in your life. Life is an intricate dance between holding on and letting go. As you release old toxic patterns of the past and open yourself to love, you will find peace is no longer something you chase, it becomes a natural state of being. Trust the timing of your life. What’s meant for you will arrive at the right moment, not a minute sooner, and not a second too late.

Your Secrets Keep You Sick: Embracing Powerlessness and Finding Empowerment

“She stared into a nearly empty bottle wondering what her life had become. At first glance, she saw countless memories, endless nights of laughter, and waves of excitement. When she took a second glance all she saw was pain, shame, guilt, mistakes, and a tremendous amount of regret. A stillness whisked through the room leaving the option to soothe the tornado of turmoil in her mind or bring this paralyzing chapter to an end, and although she was used to pacifying these feelings that aided in her addiction, she knew this drink could possibly be her last”.

I am her and this is my take on recovery:

I want to preface all of this with the journey to recover from addiction as well as mental health issues is a path marked by courage, resilience, and profound transformation. This begins with the acknowledgment of a simple but powerful truth: your secrets keep you sick. The entire process takes leaps and bounds into the deepest corners of your being, bringing the most dreadful feelings straight to the surface. There is no other choice but to bare down and begin to uproot and untangle the years of repressed emotions, events, and trauma you buried so deep, you thought they were actually gone. There comes a time to let the secrets out and the healing begin, if chosen otherwise it could be detrimental to your very existence. Addiction generally masks things we do not want to deal with, which then leads to other symptoms, creating a much bigger problem. What cannot been seen to the naked eye in the very moments of its destruction will come to light sooner than later. It all comes down to a simple but frightening choice, do you want to live or do you want to die.

Once you have made the right choice, that is when the real work begins. Acceptance is the first pivotal step. This acceptance does not mean resignation but rather recognizing the reality of your situation as a foundation for transformation. The paradox of all of this is that true power comes from acknowledging powerlessness over addiction. Once you cross that bridge, you are open to the thought of surrender. Through surrender, you gain a new kind of power, the power to seek help, focus on change, and to build a new life. Many find strength in believing in a higher power that guides them or having a connection to something greater than themselves. Willpower alone is not going to cut it. This entire process offers a chance to explore your identity where you learn to appreciate your strengths and weaknesses. You begin to grow when you recognize and accept all parts of yourself that have led you to this point, ultimately understanding how you have become the person you are today. It is important to cultivate self-love by forgiving yourself for past mistakes and embrace the changes that develop. Recovery is a very delicate balancing act. Finding equilibrium between work, relationships, and healthy activities is crucial. Establishing a routine that includes time for therapy, meetings, and self-care helps maintain this balance. Through all of this your support system will be revealed. The encouragement and understanding from family, friends, therapists, and support groups will form the backbone of your recovery. Unfortunately, others will turn their backs, unable to understand your journey. While painful, this makes it clear who genuinely cares about your well-being. Make a deal with yourself that if anything hinders your peace, happiness, or sobriety, it must be removed from your life permanently. Being vulnerable and honest with yourself and others is a beautiful thing. It is imperative to come to terms with the concept of time and control. Time is the one thing we can never get back, so do the things that consist of self-love and mindfulness. We cannot control what others feel, think, or do, we can only control how we react to them. Through all of these highs and lows you become stronger and more resilient. Your self-worth reappears and you begin walk in your power, knowing you are capable of anything if you are willing to dedicate the time and consistency it takes to achieve the greatness you know you deserve. This is empowerment, embrace it. Stay focused on self-love and creating healthy boundaries, with this you will continue to learn and grow in this new normal you have been gifted.

Discovering the Missing Link: Navigating Life’s Peaks and Valleys Together

In the journey of life, there will come a time when you stumble upon something truly magical, something that may feel like the missing piece of a puzzle you didn’t even know existed. This missing piece may come unexpectedly, challenging you in ways you can’t even cognitively comprehend, yet deep within your soul you feel there is an unbreakable connection. In the broad scope of love and relationships you could compare this feeling or experience to discovering a rare gem amidst the vast expanse of life’s experiences. This connection transcends superficialities and delves into the depth of our actual being. As beautiful as this all may sound, the path to nurturing and sustaining this connection is not always smooth. Life has a funny way of throwing in twists and turns, which can lead us into challenges and hardships. Past traumas and emotional scars from previous relationships or the past in general may haunt you, casting a shadow of doubt and fear into your present or future. Yet, when we find that missing link, we realize that we are not alone in our struggles. You find that you have someone that understands, empathizes, and is willing to walk beside you in the darkest of times. The key part to joining forces and it working out, is confronting your demons and facing your fears head-on. Together you learn to dismantle the walls you have built about your heart, brick by brick, until you are able to stand vulnerable yet empowered in the presence of your beloved. It is not always easy, there are peaks and valleys along the way. It is in those moments of adversity that the bond grows stronger, forged in the fires of resilience and determination.

The thing that sets this relationship apart from any other is simply the mutual desire to become better versions of yourselves. It is not about complacency or settling for mediocrity, it is about striving for excellence, both individually and as a couple. I challenge you and your partner to step outside of your comfort zones, knowing well and good you have each other’s backs no matter what. That is when you will really see each other for who you are. There is a saying that we have all heard about being loved and accepted at your absolute worst, that is when you are able to see a person’s true intentions. How they react, comfort you, try to understand and communicate with you, this is the test. When we find the missing link, we are willing to do whatever it takes to continue to build and sustain that connection. You will communicate more openly unlike ever before, laying bare to your hopes, dreams, and fears while prioritizing each other’s well-being, offering support and encouragement in times of need. Celebrate each other’s victories, no matter how small, knowing that every triumph brings you closer together. Most importantly, never lose sight of the fact that your relationship is the catalyst for growth and transformation. Embrace the journey, with all of its ups and downs, knowing that together, you will become stronger than the sum of your parts.

So, to those still seeking to find their missing link, I urge you to keep the faith. Trust that somewhere out there in this beautiful, chaotic, uncertain life, there is someone who will light up your world in ways you never thought were possible. And when you do find them, hold on tight, for you are about to embark on the greatest adventure of your life.

Navigating Modern Dating: Thinking like a Man in 2024

In the ever evolving landscape of dating in 2024, a paradigm shift is evident. Women are increasingly embracing empowerment, setting aside traditional gender norms, and embracing a mindset with a more masculine energy. This shift is not about adopting masculine traits but rather embodying a mindset of greater confidence, clarity, and self-assurance in navigating relationships.

Gone are the days of waiting for prince charming to sweep them off their feet. Women are stepping into their power, prioritizing their own happiness, and refusing to settle for anything less than they deserve. This is how women are reshaping the dating game by thinking like men:

  1. Clarity of Intention: Just like men, women are becoming more transparent about their intentions in relationships. They know what they want and are not afraid to communicate it. Whether it is casual dating, a committed partnership, or personal growth, clarity reigns supreme.
  2. Emotional Independence: Women are recognizing the importance of emotional independence. Rather than seeking validation or fulfillment from external sources, they prioritize self-love. This emotional maturity allows them to enter relationships as whole individuals, rather than seeking completion from a partner.
  3. Setting Boundaries: Just as men often do, women are setting clear boundaries in their relationships. They understand the importance of self-respect and refuse to tolerate behavior that does not align with their values. Boundaries serve as a guide for healthy interaction and mutual respect.
  4. Living Authentically: Authenticity is key in modern dating. Women have been embracing their true selves, flaws and all, and refusing to conform to societal expectations. By living authentically, they attract partners who appreciate them for who they are, not who they think they should be.
  5. Prioritizing Personal Growth: Women are prioritizing personal growth and self-improvement. Instead of waiting for a perfect partner to come along, they focus on becoming the best version of themselves. This self-development not only enriches their own lives but also attracts like-minded individuals who compliment their journey.

Thinking like a man in 2024 is not about mimicking masculine behavior, but rather embodying principles of confidence, clarity, self-assurance in navigating relationships. By stepping into their power, setting aside feelings and ego, and prioritizing their own happiness, women are attracting partners who serve their greatest good and embracing a new era of empowered dating.

Liberation: Honoring Your Truth

In the intricate weaving of our lives, we often find ourselves entangled in the threads from the past that hinder our growth and inevitably prevent us from embracing the fullness of our being. Yet, within the depths of our souls lies the resilience to sever those ties, heal old wounds, and embark on a journey towards fulfillment. This path to liberation begins with acknowledging the past traumas that have attached themselves into the depths of our existence. These traumas leave imprints on our hearts and minds, shaping our perceptions, and influencing our choices. When confronted, we are able to reclaim our power and pave a smooth path for healing to commence. Healing is not a linear journey, it is a process that takes courage and willingness to confront the shadows that linger in the deepest part of our consciousness. Personally speaking, therapy, the support of loved ones, and a lot of self-reflection is how I began my journey. This was the start of mending all of the fractures within and stitching together the pieces that had been ripped apart over the years. As the burdens of the past are released, space is created within for new beginnings to take root. We become conduits for positive energy, attracting opportunities, and people that resonate with the authenticity of our being. The universe, in its infinite wisdom, conspires in our favor, aligning circumstances and synchronicities to guide us along our chosen path. True liberation extends far beyond the confines of the self. It is a commitment to living in alignment with our deepest truths and refusing to settle for anything less than we deserve. It is about honoring values, nurturing our passions, and embracing the journey of self-love.

In the realm of love, career, and personal growth, we must refuse to compromise our authenticity for the sake of conformity. This allows us to set strong boundaries that honor our worth and cultivate relationships that uplift and inspire the best versions of ourselves. This is when we can pursue our dreams with tenacity, knowing that the universe rewards those who dare to pursue their passions with unwavering dedication. This is the time that we are able to embrace the infinite potential that resides within us. With each step forward, we shed the shackles of the past and emerge as beacons of light, illuminating the path for others to follow. In the end, liberation is not a destination, it is a sacred dance between past, present, and future. Simply, it is a state of being. This is the testament to the resilience of the human spirit, and the endless capacity of the heart to heal and to love. In our surrender to the flow of life, we discover the universe, in all its magnificence, will work tirelessly in our favor when we choose to honor the truth of who we are.

Stepping Stones: Learning from Past Relationships

Past relationships serve as invaluable teachers, imbedding lessons that shape our understanding of love, resilience, and self-discovery. Each encounter, whether it be fleeting or enduring, leaves a mark on our journey towards emotional growth and fulfillment. Although, the aftermath of a breakup may seem daunting, it also presents an opportunity for profound introspection, revival, and renewal. There are many feelings and emotions to navigate during these turbulent times. However, it is within these moments of vulnerability that our resilience truly shines. Moving on from past relationship requires a steadfast commitment to self-care, compassion, and emotional healing. In these times we must honor our feelings without succumbing to despair and acknowledge and embrace the pain, while focusing on the possibility of renewal. When it comes to healing, this is a deeply personal part of the journey that will unfold as its own pace. This is the time we must confront our fears and embrace the transformative power of resilience. Surrounding yourself with supportive friends and family can provide solace and perspective during times of emotional imbalance. Engaging in activities that nourish the soul like creative expression, exercise, or mindful practices will foster a sense of empowerment.

Every relationship, regardless of its outcome, offers valuable insights into our desires, boundaries, and emotional needs. Reflecting on past experiences allows us to discern patterns, identify areas for personal growth, and cultivate greater self-awareness. It is safe to say that a failed relationship can teach us the importance of communication, trust, and the value of vulnerability. I believe it can also reveal the significance of self-love and the necessity of nurturing our own well-being. Creating a sense of gratitude for the lessons learned is an essential part of the process. Instead of viewing the past as a failure, reframe it as stepping stones towards greater emotional maturity and self-discovery. Every encounter or experience contributes to the shaping of our future relationships and our lives in general. Once you are armed with your newfound wisdom and prepared to move forward, you can embrace the complexity of human connections. This is the time to honor all of the lessons collectively and look onward to a promising future. As you stand on the threshold of new beginnings, do so with strength, grace, and an unwavering commitment to the journey of the heart.

From Your Valentine

Love is the divine vitality that everywhere produces and restores life. 

Thanks to both Christian and ancient Roman tradition we celebrate this day of love in honor of St. Valentine. There are a few legends that surround this holiday that are perhaps a little too grim and gory to dive into. The one thing that each legend has in common is all three saints were martyred. Point being even in A.D. 270, people were throwing themselves on the sword in the name of love. It is alleged that prior to his death, Valentine wrote a letter to a girl he had fallen for and signed it “From your Valentine,” an expression that is used to this very day.

Present day, this glorified holiday is a time to express one’s feelings and exchange tokens of affection. Whether you are in a relationship or flying solo these days you should take the time to celebrate. In a matter of fact, you should celebrate the love you have for yourself and others everyday. I recently read something that resonated so highly, it was about looking back on your life and realizing the moments when you have truly lived, were the moments you had done things in the spirit of love. It is so true, when your heart is in the right place and you are leading with love, life is just seamless. Today can also be a time to reflect internally. If you are one that scowls at the thought of this day or love in general, maybe it is time to focus your energy on the people and things you surround yourself with. Ask yourself this one simple question. Is what you are doing benefiting you mentally, emotionally, and physically? If you hesitated for even a second, it is time to clean house. As hard as it may be to cut ties with people or things that do not serve you, trust me when I say it is always worth it. Life is way too short and precious to waste time, and time my friends is the one thing that we can never get back. Each waking second is a chance to start over, and see that you are amazing and deserve everything this world has to offer. Making your needs a priority is your first step. This requires you to really take a step back and ask yourself what makes you happy and truly brings you peace. Sometimes, we find ourselves in a place where we are unsure of what actually makes us happy because of the heartache or grief we have experienced. It is also common to become comfortable and complacent with the bare minimum when it comes to relationships with others as well as ourselves. In my opinion, that is the most dangerous place to be. My advice is jump out of your comfort zone, be spontaneous, and focus solely on yourself for a bit. You will find your way back, and by then all of the things you once thought were important will simply be a memory or a reminder of a place you never want to visit again. Start practicing self-care daily. Go for walk, soak up the sunshine, eat a healthy meal, spend time with those that inspire you. Whatever it is you choose to do, just start doing the things you love more often. 

Optical Illusion: The Flag is Red

Illusion can be defined as something that deceives or misleads intellectually. At times we tend to see only what we want to see, whether it be in ourselves, others, our jobs, or our social circles. I can say with complete conviction I have taken a long hard look in the mirror a few times and I did not know who I was looking at. I have seen someone I was so disgusted by in that mirror and I have also seen a beautiful boss bitch ready to conquer the world. It is unsettling and unbeknownst to us this is simply our brains misinterpreting and misleading us of what is actually real. When it comes to illusions, we can be experiencing sensory stimulus, but it is simply an interpretation that contradicts objective reality. A good example of this is in relationships, we often seen those vibrant red flags waving right in front of our eyes, and we choose to look the other way. We then create in our minds a version of what we want to see or who we want them to be. Personally, I can say that I am guilty of this and I have definitely danced on the fine line between illusion and delusion when talking about relationships. To be clear illusions are perceptual and delusions are belief disturbances. I hope to think that most of us are just born with a good heart and understand love and empathy. That was my first mistake, creating an illusion that others could love the way I love, love me the way I deserved to be loved, and be empathetic to my feelings as well as others. You can say it was hope and assumptions. We all know what happens we start assuming things. 

In my life I have done this in past relationships. I would start by making excuses, see more red flags, ignore them (insert self-hatred right about here), then magically my perception of said person would be grandiose, when in reality they were the absolute worst in every single way you could think of. Now, in reality-ville I see very clearly that my self-worth was not present, there was zero self-love, making it impossible to even love someone else, and I was creating a version of what I truly wanted that person to be even though that was completely impossible. This is what I mean by the fine line of illusion and delusion. I created something that wasn’t real because I could not accept the fact that this person was so far from checking any of the boxes that I now place the upmost importance on, and I actually believed that they could turn a new leaf or simply not be a complete piece of shit. I am not just talking about intimate relationships either, this goes for friends, family, co-workers, whoever. I am here to tell you this is just a small piece of the self-love jigsaw puzzle, because when the day comes that you do have that moment of enlightenment any of this crazy nonsense literally becomes irrelevant to your life. When you start vibing so high, leading with love and positivity, affirming you are absolutely amazing every single day, and can look in the mirror and say you are beautiful and I love you and actually whole heartedly mean it, that is when you begin to mirror power and confidence. The wild thing about exuding power and confidence is it attracts more power and confidence. The old life you once knew of dating or befriending liars, manipulators, cheaters, abusers, straight losers is over. That type of person wants someone who is weak-minded, has zero self-worth, and quite simply someone that is easy to take advantage of. In all actuality, those people are the mirrors of no self-worth, self-love, ambition, empathy, self awareness, I could go on forever. Moral of the story: love yourself so much and walk with such positive power that there is no chance on God’s green earth that one of those nefarious humans could ever come near you again.

Hello Darkness My Old Friend: The Downward Spiral

women s white framed sunglasses
Photo by YURI MANEI on Pexels.com

When I started this blog I was a lost soul and trying so hard to find myself. I just wanted to feel normal and I couldn’t seem to figure it out no matter how hard I tried. The darkness inside of me consumed my soul, filling me with a ton of negative energy.  My vicious routines had me going through the motions and achieving nothing. The drugs and alcohol clouded my judgement, the horrible self body image kept me hating myself, and the revolving door of poor choices was just the cherry on top. Unfortunately, we are our own worst enemy at times.  Perhaps, we are so use to the feeling of despair we avoid trying to find true happiness.  I wish I knew back then that I held the power to actually change up my entire mindset, but what is the fun in that?  Over the course of my life, I have experienced extreme highs and very low lows.  Even at my absolute worst, I was still learning and always had hope that better days were ahead.  I guess that is the silver lining to my story.  I will say that seeing real personal growth is beautiful, and it helps you put things into perspective.

When I started this blog, I used writing as an outlet mainly so I wouldn’t lose my mind and punch people in the throat. I was very angry and frustrated internally.  I used to bottle things up and then let them explode,  I was a ticking time bomb that could go off at any given second.  When you live with lies and have so many secrets you become filled with anger, crippling anxiety, overwhelming sadness, and a lot of rage.  My mistakes from all that pain alone have led me to this point in my life.  I also see clearly that my coping skills were non existent.  If I had been better prepared and or educated with the tools necessary to navigate these murky waters, this journey of mine would have been totally different.  I really believe that it all happened for a reason though.  When it comes to writing now, I feel that I write to help others know they are not alone. You are never alone. I am blessed I am able to express myself and creatively share my experiences with you.

Looking back I realize that my self-worth was altered at a pretty young age.  I am sure a lot of us have those moments that stick with us.  I remember being teased in grade school about my teeth, the shoes I wore, the backpack I carried, I mean hell you name it and I was bullied for it.  It was the same in junior high, I was too chubby and too tall.  In hindsight kids are fucking cruel.  I know now that those poor kids who bullied me were direct reflections of their shitty upbringing.  I also know that hurt people, hurt people.  This is what ultimately started my negative body image which led to a downward spiral of emptiness.  We all become products of our environment and my environment was toxic, so I embraced that fully.  Those feelings were the biggest links in the chain that was wrapped around my neck for the next 20 years of my life.  I know this is relatable and that is why I share my journey and I pray it reaches the right eyes. I knew even in my darkest moments I wanted more out of life.  It was deep rooted in me, in the core of my being that there was something bigger and greater for me to do.  The change starts with you. You have to believe in yourself with your whole heart and know that this road takes a lot of healing, patience, and love.  My greatest advice is to start loving yourself, do all of the things that bring you happiness, set strong boundaries, say no to things that do not serve you, and be consistent with positive impactful choices. Those choices will catapult you into the light and out of the dark.